What if rest doesn’t feel restful?
I recently wrote an article for Counselling Directory exploring something I hear and also recognise quite often: What happens when self-care does not actually feel like self-care?
We are often told that rest should look a certain way. Meditation, yoga, journaling, reading, switching off. And for some people, these things can be genuinely helpful. But for others, slowing down can feel uncomfortable, frustrating, exposing, or even anxiety-provoking.
Sometimes, when we finally stop, the mind gets louder.
In the article, I reflect on the idea that self-care is not about getting rest “right”. It is more about becoming curious about what helps our nervous system feel a little safer, steadier, and more able to cope.
Self-regulation does not always mean feeling completely calm. Sometimes it simply means feeling a little less overwhelmed. A little more present. A little more connected to yourself.
For some people, this might come through silence and stillness. For others, it might come through movement, music, a familiar programme, a walk, a fidget toy, cooking, gaming, or having gentle background noise. These things may not always look like the version of self-care we see online, but they can still be meaningful ways of supporting ourselves.
I hope the article offers a different way of thinking about rest: less pressure, less judgement, and more curiosity about what your body may actually need.
You can read the full article here: